I felt the same sadness again and it made me felt real uncomfy, nafas yang menyesakkan (padahala ngga ada apa2) air mata yg rasanya mau turun, dll, membuat saya merasa "hhh...I had to do this all over again? nooo...please go away" I'm saying this not because of the hatred that I had for him, no, I don't hate him, but the feeling that I have to go through again, the when I saw him at the foot ball court, the me and him had 8 hour phone call, the "I wanted to call you, prepare the music and the duvet", the 'yes dear', the 'halo', I love his halo, even the feelings when he wasn't in my life anymore, the breakdowns and everything.....
all, went to me again yesterday. I told him once (he sometimes drive while drunk) to be more careful when he's otr, he said to me to have no worries, he's getting use to jalanan jkt. made me had several goosebumps when I remember those conversations.
he's gone for about almost two years now, and I had to start letting it go....thanks for my hubby for the understanding, knowing a person for 10 years wasn't that easy to forget, especially when that person had the special ultimate place in our hearts and the love of your life once...
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